Death now is very close. All the signs of death are here. The moment we have awaited for so long. The moment we have dreaded for so long. The moment we feared so much. The moment we were ready for. So ready.
Some Signs of Death
Amongst the signs of death actually having occurred are things such as:
- There is no response to either questions or touching.
- No more breaths in or out.
- The jaw is relaxed, the mouth slightly open.
- No heartbeat is to be felt.
- There might be a sudden release of bowel and/or bladder.
- The eyes are staring fixedly on one spot.
- Most likely, the eyelids are slightly open.
- The pupils may be enlarged.
- No more blinking for the eyes.
These signs of death are pretty simple and straight forward. The life force has left the body. The body is not functioning any more. The body is dead. There is death.
Taking Our Time to Say Good Bye to the Dead Body
It is so important to take the time to say good bye while the dead body is still there. It makes it real and final. Final in a physical way. In a good way.
It especially helps to wash the body one more time. It is hard work to wash a dead body. It cannot support us in this last task. So, we need to do all the moving and lifting for it.
Washing the body is traditionally the task of the women. But anyone is welcome who would like to honour our loved one through this small ritual. A ritual for the final stages of death.
Washing can bring out the tears quite easily. The physically strenuous work of washing the dead body can help to release our tears. It can have a cathartic effect. It is so good to let our tears run freely while still with the body of our loved one.
The lavender oil has two effects: it freshens up the room and it feels soothing for the one crying while washing the body.
A simple gesture like scattering the rose petals over Emma’s body helps to bring closure. It also brings in something lovely to remember in all this heaviness around death. Something light and lovely. Soft and gentle.
About these Last Steps
The hospice services in the USA do not only provide our loved ones with skilled support. They also provide a death certificate through the hospice doctor. No coroner has to be called. No sheriff comes to the house to ask sometimes uncomfortable and harsh questions right after we have lost a love one to death. Right after the final signs of death.
The primary condition for being admitted to hospice services is a diagnosis of less than six months to live by a medical doctor. Because of that diagnosis the hospice doctor fills out the death certificate. No questions asked. Everyone involved knew that this person was dying.
